


Existing In the In Between

by Dokuhan



Category: THE iDOLM@STER
Genre: Alcohol, Confessions, Feelings, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:30:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22708024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dokuhan/pseuds/Dokuhan
Summary: Soichiro contemplates his feelings as he walks a buzzed Kamiya home.
Relationships: Kamiya Yukihiro/Shinonome Souichirou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Existing In the In Between

**Author's Note:**

  * For [glitchly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitchly/gifts).



They don’t get to go out drinking very often. There just isn’t the time for it in between idol work and the café. Even when it was just the café, their time was taken up entirely with just trying to keep their heads above water. It wasn’t a big deal, by any means, but it was still nice to be invited when the opportunity came up. So, when Takajo brought it up, they jumped at the opportunity.

It turned out to be a low-key get together, the three of them along with Ijuin and Kimura. Kitamura and Tsukumo had joined in the beginning, but left a couple of hours earlier. By 11, Kamiya had looked down at his phone and started to stand up.

“I need to start heading home,” he explained, his face already starting to get flushed and voice slightly slurring, “it’s nice out, so I want to walk.”

Takajo wrinkled his brow at that. “Are you really sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, I don’t…I don’t live _that_ far away. It should be fine.”

Soichiro frowned, knowing full well that “it should be fine” meant absolutely nothing when it came to Kamiya. It especially didn’t mean much when Soichiro had already spent the better part of the afternoon chasing him down after the job they’d taken earlier that day. No, leaving Kamiya to his own devices after drinking was just asking for disaster. With that, he finished the last of his own drink before gathering his jacket and standing up. “It’s okay. I’ll make sure he gets back. My apartment is on the way.”

“Shinonome,” Kamiya whined, a sign that he was more than just a little buzzed. “You don’t have to go out of your way.”

“One of us has to be responsible.” He picked up Kamiya’s jacket from the floor and placed it in his hands.

The cold burst of air when they walked outside was enough to help Soichiro gather the rest of his senses, but also hadn’t had as much as Kamiya. He rubbed his hands together, trying to keep them warm as a group of salarymen shuffled past them, “Are you sure you want to walk?”

“Yeah.” Kamiya nodded, bringing up his own hands to pat his cheeks. His mouth sounded like it was full of cotton, but he seemed to have some of his wits. “I think I’ll sober up so fast if I do this. Last time I did this I woke up with a bad hangover, and I can’t sleep it off tomorrow.” He turned left, making his way down the street.

Soichiro followed and turned him around, “It’s this way.” He didn’t want to see if Kamiya had anything else to say before continuing, “When was the last time? It’s been so long.”

“I think it was right after we signed with Producer…” he trailed off, looking up and scrunching his face as if he was trying to mentally put together a puzzle. “Hm, or maybe not. I think we were supposed to go out drinking with Asselin after that.”

“You were too nervous to do much of anything; I think we all were.” He thought back on it, and how his hands had been shaking while he read his own copy of their contract for the umpteenth time. “Maybe we’d find out the next morning that we hadn’t been scouted at all and this one was big scam. We’d be right back to square one.”

“Then it must have been before that…” Kamiya pulled his jacket closer, zipping it up all the way. “Was it right before that?”

Soichiro shrugged. “It’s not that important, so don’t worry about it too much.” It was only something he brought up to make conversation anyway, to keep Kamiya’s mind active and work the alcohol out of his system.

“No, I’m sure there’s something more to it.”

Maybe there was, but at that moment he couldn’t bring up the motivation to think about the last time they’d drank together in greater detail. Even then, it felt like they didn’t have much else to say.

They turned down a corner to a less busy street. Less people meant they could probably do with some distance, but like their conversation, Soichiro didn’t feel the drive to put that space between them. The new quiet just seemed to bring other things to mind. He wondered if this was just the way things would always be, stuck in the same place for years to come because neither of them could decide to go one way or the other.

Next to him, Kamiya still seemed lost in his own world, head tilted up and eyes focused on the black, starless sky. “We should go somewhere where there’s less light pollution. I kind of miss seeing stars.”

“Well, we could always look into it when we have some time off…”

“I’d like that a lot,” Kamiya paused, before quickly adding, “of course, we’d have to see when Saki and Makio have off from school. And if Asselin is available too.”

“Right. Of course.”

Everything unsaid hung in the air, waiting for one of them to pick it up. Ignoring it felt cowardly, but giving it life felt too dangerous.

The uncomfortable, unending silence lasted until they reached Kamiya’s front gate. They stood in front of each other.

“You know,” Kamiya started, “you didn’t have to lie back there. I know this takes you completely out of your way.”

“You never would have made it home otherwise. Besides, I didn’t mind it.”

He hummed, “You know, I remembered the last time we went drinking together.”

“Did you really just spend the whole time trying to figure that out?”

“It was at your place, when I brought over Producer’s card. Because it wouldn’t feel right to make the decision without you. I thought alcohol would make it easier.”

Soichiro felt something tug at his chest, the memory suddenly becoming very clear. “Instead, you spent the whole night throwing up, and I had to clean up after you.” He lightly punched Kamiya’s shoulder. “And then the next morning you wouldn’t get out of _my_ bed. I had to spend the whole day babysitting you.”

“Ah, you do remember!” Kamiya beamed at that. “You’ve always taken great care of me, Shinonome. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”

“Well,” he started, fleeting bravery pushing past reasonable thought. “Maybe you should let me take care of you every day, then.”

And there it was, finally out in the open. Vulnerable and cracked open for the world to see.

Kamiya reached over, gently taking his hand. “You know, I think I’d like that a lot.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was part of the SideM Valentine's Exchange - a gift for @glitchloid on Twitter. 
> 
> I haven't written these two yet, so I don't think I've got their voices down, but I wanted to write something sweet and simple between the two of them.


End file.
